Rust and Stardust
by rxthlessly
Summary: A terrifying Commander and a peculiar girl ravage the galaxy, searching for their own idea of the truth. UPDATES EVERY THURSDAY.
1. Emergence

_"The Empire, your parents, the Resistance, the Sith, the Jedi...let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become what you are meant to be."_

Commander Kylo Ren, _The Last Jedi_

 **A/N:** Hi, everyone! Thank you for visiting _Rust and Stardust_. As a warning, this story may contain content that could be uncomfortable for some readers. These include: swearing, violence, and sexual themes. Please read at your own discretion. Enjoy!

\- Ruth

* * *

 **Book I: Shelter**

Chapter I: Emergence

If this was being dead, then it wasn't nearly as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

There was darkness and quiet, save the faint tinnitus that seemed to have always existed. Considering the noisy and restless life on Coruscant, this really should be considered a vacation. I mean, the ringing in the ears could take it down a notch, but there's no use in complaining about things you can't fix.

 _Maybe now I'll find out if I'm Force-sensitive or not_ , I thought with a smirk. _Or if the Force is even real._

The truth was on the cusp of revealing itself. Any moment now, some spirit of a Master Jedi should be waiting for me with open arms. Or Darth Vader's specter waiting with his red saber in hand. I wasn't entirely great during my twenty-two years of existence. Either way, bring it on death. Show me what you got.

Apparently, death can read thoughts and was up to the challenge, as my head slammed against something solid. A hollow, metallic _thud_ tore through my brain, momentarily displacing the soft tinnitus. Of course, a much louder and higher pitch took place in its wake.

I guess it was safe to assume that I did not make the cut for a happy, eternal life.

I took a moment to ponder which of my actions lead the powers-that-be to decide to send me to Hell. There was the cheating and alcohol smuggling at Uscru, the occasional white lie to extend curfew when I was younger, but nothing out of the ordinary. There had to have been a mistake.

"Orrin." A voice called my name. It was faint, distant, masculine.

"Orrin. Orrin Fireith. Can you hear me?" The voice grew louder, as if the person speaking was approaching. It sounded urgent.

"Squeeze my hand if you can hear me. Orrin - " Now the person was running towards me, their voice practically screaming in my ear. The tinnitus joined in, and together the cacophonous noises resounded in my brain until –

Turns out, I wasn't dead after all.

My eyelids flew open and registered the frame of a blurry woman standing over me. Looking to my sides, I could tell I was lying on a gurney. The tinnitus had dissipated, replaced by various beeps and hisses. The woman kneeled down, her face inches apart from mine. She took a hand and pressed it against my forehead, maintaining eye contact with me as she spoke.

"Her vitals are all stable. She's warm, but nothing out of the ordinary. Probably her first time on a ship." Smiling at the last part, the woman, dressed in nurses' garb, pulled her eyes away from mine and met with a man on the other side of the gurney. Sluggishly, I turned my head to take him in. He was younger, perhaps thirty. Red hair was cropped behind his ears and pushed underneath a black cap. This must be some official-type shit.

It was then I realized he was gripping onto my left hand.

"Hey!" I scolded, pulling my hand away. There was a sharp tug; both my hands were pricked with needles connected to intravenous tubes. The sudden movement and speech made my temple throb. Wincing, I sat up and scanned the room. Propped up on a stirrup was my right leg, a plaster cast molded to it.

"Ah, um, Ms. Fireith, you shouldn't – " The nurse began.

The man shushed her. "Let her take a look. She has the right to ask questions."

"Yeah, thanks. I'll take your word on that." I said quietly.

Evidently enough, I was in a hospital with a fucked up leg. How it happened was completely beyond me.

The man's curt speech cut off my train of thought.

"You sustained a blaster injury in your right calf from a Rebel." He nodded towards my injury. "A Resistance troop invaded your neighborhood. Luckily enough, our craft was docked near by. Our medical team took you in immediately." The man raised his eyebrows, reinforcing his stiff stance. "You are safe here."

"A _Resistance_ troop?" I pushed myself up so I was nearly face-to-face with the man, despite pleas from the nurse not to. The name had sounded familiar, hopeful; and yet, shrouded in mystery.

The Rebels. The Resistance. Was I supposed to already know who and what those were? Who were the Resistance, and why were they firing at me?

"I - I don't understand. I..." I closed my eyes, rubbing them with the palm of my hand. Why can't I remember any of this happening?

The man answered my question before I had the chance to ask.

"The blaster wound left you unable to move. Not too long after, the Resistance detonated a series of magna bombs. The utter force of the explosions appeared to have launched you into a wall." He looked over towards the nurse, signaling her to continue.

"The collision caused internal bleeding in your medial temporal lobe. I wouldn't be shocked if your memories regarding the last year, more or less, have become impaired." She gazed down at her feet. "I'm sorry."

The nurse turned to face the glowing screen behind her. After a few strokes of her finger, several scans of a brain flashed one by one, openly displaying like a deck of cards. The nurse began a thorough explanation of what exactly had gone wrong with my head, complications, and rates of recovery. Trying to pay attention to her was nearly impossible. Her voice was silent in comparison to the ones screaming in my head. Why was the Resistance attacking my home? Where am I? Do my parents know I'm here? Are my parents...

"Did you see a man and a woman there? At the neighborhood. Oberlin and Magdalene Fireith?" My heart was in my throat, my head swimming in confusion and incoming vertigo. It was an incredibly vague, stupid question.

A pause engulfed the room.

The man gestured for the nurse to exit the room. Readjusted his weight from one leg to the other. Looking clearly uncomfortable.

"You were the only survivor."

That doesn't mean they're dead.

They could have been at home, listening to a radio broadcast like they always did, horrified by the Resistance's attack. Worried about where I was.

That doesn't mean they're dead.

"So, there's still hope." I said, watching the man shuffle.

"Your father was the one who gave us your name," the man clasped the bridge of his nose between two fingers. "It was the last thing he said. Your mother thanked us and followed suit."

The room went white.

The man was speaking, but the noise was garbled, as if we were underwater. My parents were dead, and I can't even remember it happening.

My eyes rolled back in my skull, and all was dark.

Then, turbulence.

I came to, and the room was shaking. Vials were smashed; my hands were freed of the tubes attached to them. Blood was smeared across my shirt. The man was standing spread-eagled against the door, eyes wide and mouth open. Staring at me.

 _"Control yourself!"_ He commanded, his tone a guttural yell.

Suddenly, I felt like I had been punched square in the stomach. I lurched forward, reaching out.

The turbulence stopped abruptly. I leaned back into the gurney and sighed. Tears silently crept down my cheek.

The man collapsed to the floor, his chest rising and falling rapidly. As quickly as he fell, he stood up, assuming his original position, completely disregarding what had just transpired. As if everything was all right. As if my parents weren't both dead right now.

He wiped his hands on his dark trousers. Nervousness did not suit him well.

Approaching my bed, he stuck out his hand without hesitation.

"I think it's proper time to introduce myself to you. Orrin Fireith, I am General Armitage Hux, serving for the High Command of the First Order regime."


	2. Warning

Chapter II: Warning

"You are currently in Medical Ward 6 of the _Supremacy_." Hux continued, pacing back and forth. "We are expecting by tomorrow your internal injuries will be cleared, and you will be able to walk with the assistance of a crutch for the remainder of the week." He stopped in his tracks as he finished, facing me. Noticing my blank expression, he asked if I was all right.

I scrambled through my thoughts to mumble an affirmative. _The First Order_. The title had struck a cord of fear, agitation in me, without a reason why. It was as if my hands were reaching out to seize the words, but they were just far enough that only my fingertips could graze them.

"God, uh, this is embarrassing for me," I began. Hux had made such a dramatic introduction, as if I should have already known whom he was.

I didn't.

"Would you be so kind as to, um, remind me what The First Order...does." Grimacing more from the awkwardness than the pain, I drew my eyes to the ceiling. Hoping to forget this encounter as soon as it's over.

Hux didn't seem to mind. In fact, he grinned and placed his hands on his sides. He spoke as if The First Order was his only pride and joy.

"In the words of our Commander, it is the undertaking of The First Order to remove disorder from our existence to promote the stability and progression of civilization. For reasons unbeknownst to us, the Resistance has made it their mission to deter and destroy any efforts we make to attain this goal. We have been in battle with the Resistance for nearly a year. Fortunately, we lay one step ahead." Hux crossed his arms. Satisfied. "And no need to feel embarrassed," he added, "your thinking isn't as sharp as it normally would be. As I said, those issues should resolve themselves by morning."

Hux opened the door with a push of a button. The nurse hurried back in, a small cut on her cheek. She saluted him, visibly shaking.

"General, did you feel that? Is there a problem with the ship? A shelf in the infirmary lobby crashed from the turbulence. All our files are in disarray, glass specimen tubes crashed everywhere..." She touched her cheek, frowning at the blood that came off on her fingers. "Oh, no."

"No need to worry, Jaina, the _Supremacy_ is in stable condition. I'll be making my leave now for the night. If you need me, I will be in main hangar with the Commander to finalize a course of action for this week." Hux sighed, seemingly nervous about his evening plans. "Take good care of Orrin. She has quite a day planned for tomorrow." He nodded at me, an expression of quiet contentment spreading across his face. As Hux went to exit, he stopped in the doorway to address us a final time.

"And Jaina, that was not turbulence."

General Hux closed the door, and Jaina prepared me for my first night aboard the _Supremacy_.

I wondered if it would be my last.

* * *

The heat radiating off the red beam was strong enough to burn my skin without touching. Tiny waves of electricity leaped up, down, and around it, hovering slightly, like solar flares. Sweat trickled down my back.

"Take it." A robotic voice ordered.

Before I had time to react, the lightsaber was shoved into my hands. The two protruding beams at the helm nearly sliced through my sleeve. The blade illuminated the masked figure in front of me. The weapon felt awfully unfamiliar in my grip.

"Upon your completion of this trial, you will be appointed as a Knight of Ren. If you fail, you will be executed." The figure warned. Despite being unable to see his features, an innate sense told me was a human. He was tall, cloaked in robe upon robe of black, intimidating. He was not a man who goes back on his word.

He stepped to the side, and with a wave of his hand opened a door leading out towards a field. Smoke came pouring through the open doorway, filling my lungs and suffocating. In the distance stood a marble temple.

Rather, the remains of a temple.

Fires ravaged the structure's frames. A thick wall of ash saturating the atmosphere underscored the darkness of the night.

Children were running out of the burning temple in all directions.

"They are the last of the remaining Jedi apprentices." The figure gestured to the younglings. The computerized voice caused by the mask removed all emotion from his speech, dehumanized him. A chill coursed through my bloodstream.

"Kill them."

Looking up at the man, my eyes shifted from one side of the mask's slit where his eyes should have been to the other. My lips parted to dissent, but no sound came out.

"Do not waste my time." He threatened.

"They're children! Can't we take them in? We can show them the right path, we can –" My pleas were cut off just as sharply as my oxygen.

Clawing at my throat, I was raised into the air until I was at the same height as the man. He lifted a finger as if he was beckoning me to come further. My eyes started to roll and my vision dimmed.

"I see you have made your decision."

He released his grip, and with the same powers, threw me outside. I landed on my hands and knees, my left wrist contorted by the fall. The Force kept me locked in place.

Cape flowing behind, smoke intertwining between his legs and rising up to encase him, the man resembled the devil incarnate as he crossed the field.

"Watch."

With minimal, effortless swings of the lightsaber, he eliminated the young students one by one.

As he pulled his sword out of his last victim, the man shut the beams off. In two long strides, he was standing over my frozen body.

"You are nothing. You are an embarrassment to The First Order, to Supreme Leader Snoke, and to me."

He kneeled down, reached under my arms, and pressed the inactive lightsaber between my ribs. His face was mere inches away from mine.

"If you see my father, tell him Kylo Ren says hello."

The red beam was switched on and tore through my chest.

* * *

Beeps and hisses permeated the otherwise eerie silence. I hadn't left the medical ward, and I was very much alive. Jaina was gone for the night.

It was just a dream.

Or was it more?

A warning, a premonition?

Despite my failing memory, I knew of Commander Kylo Ren well, as did the rest of the galaxy. He acted more machine than man, and tales of his cruelty were whispered amongst the sects of Coruscant. Information began to fall into place.

I thought back to my initial reaction to realizing I was on board with The First Order. There was fear, anger, hurt. But then, the Resistance was the reason why I was here in the first place. They made an attempt on my life, and succeeded in their attempts on others. The First Order could have left me for dead just as easily. But with someone as terrifying as Kylo Ren as its leader...

 _In times of war, you could make friends on either side_ , my mother had said, _but enemies are everywhere_.

Trust no one.

Pushing myself up on my forearms, I examined my leg.

I could probably make a break with this.

The intravenous tubes were no longer sticking my hands. Aside from the somewhat bulky cast, I was free. Escaping the _Supremacy_ was essentially the same as crawling out my window for a night at Uscru, only now with more security cameras, guards, and maybe the chance of risking an imminent death. Nothing wrong with an element of surprise.


	3. Meeting

Chapter III: Meeting

Along the opposite side from my bed was a horizontal mirror that spanned the entire length of the wall. It felt like years since I last saw myself. Taking a moment to reflect, I approached the wall, scrunching up the back of my hair. Putting my full weight on my leg wasn't as painful as I expected. A dull, throbbing ache made itself apparent when I walked, but nothing that would cause much trouble.

I looked like hell.

Scratches were littered across my face, chest, and arms. My russet hair turned just to rust, matted with blood and grime. A deep cut traced the outline of my cheekbone. Two small bandages were placed on top of it in a useless effort to connect the two sides of the wound. If anything, at least I got a cool scar out of this.

The dark circles under my eyes contrasted from my otherwise colorless face. My eyes themselves, glazed over. I couldn't remember the last time I slept through the night; then again, I couldn't remember much of anything, could I?

I didn't like this feeling. It made me vulnerable.

Trust no one.

I took time to examine the room for a way out that wasn't necessarily through the main door. Guards could be anywhere, and I was not about to be interrogated at 2 o'clock in the morning.

But what if I didn't have to be?

I paused at the thought, considering _all_ my options.

General Hux's comment as he left the room played over in my head like a broken record.

 _"And Jaina, that was not turbulence."_

Jaina had nodded in agreement; she knew what he was talking about, and it seemed the two of them were in a pact to keep it a secret from me. I pinched myself, wishing I had asked either one of them to elaborate.

A sneaking thought crawled its way into my consciousness. If the ship was stable, and turbulence was not the culprit of the chaos, a solution was still in play.

The powers of the Force, the Force itself, were solely rumors from what I knew, although its existence was strongly debated in favor for. It's been said that those sensitive to the Force could levitate small objects, food, people.

As Commander Kylo Ren did in my dream.

Was it possible to move an entire spacecraft?

A tiny, clear vial of pain medication rested on the bureau under the mirror.

I backed away from where I stood, shaking my head. I'm flattering myself; there was absolutely no reason for someone like me to have any capability with the Force. At any rate, I was twenty-two. If some power were streaming through me, I would've known by now.

Still, it was calling. The vial was screaming for me, louder than any of the other voices I had heard thus far.

Slowly, I approached the mirror, and picked the object up, examining it as it lay in my palm.

The lights flickered and blew out the second my fingers toiled with the tube. Darkness consumed for the third time tonight.

I leaped back on my bed, heart galloping, as neon lights took its place all at once. Upbeat music blared. Laughter, singing, yelling filled the air as if I was in the center of –

Uscru.

I was back in the Uscru Entertainment district, leaning over a roulette table. On either side of me were my two and only friends, Lilea and Rhyen. We never made a trip to Uscru without the complete trio.

"So, what will it be then?" The croupier leaned in, grinning. Gold plates lined his teeth, and an odor of death sticks and whiskey tainted his breath.

"Two thousand credits on red number one." I replied, but my speech felt disconnected, as if I was only watching the scene through my eyes.

"Yo, Orrin, are you _sure_?" Rhyen nudged me. "You're going to blow your entire savings. Lil, back me up on this."

"Yeah, Orrin, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, I'm all for taking risks, but..."

"I'm going to need a bet, sweetheart." The croupier cut in, eyeing me. His shit-eating grin grew wider.

"Two thousand credits on red number one." Shoving my chips over, I knew I was going to win.

Shrugging, the croupier pushed my wages to the side, and spun the wheel.

The white ball danced around through its track, and soon enough began to lose momentum. It bounced from number to number, slowing down on the red thirty-six.

A sharp "shit" emerged from Lilea.

Rhyen, less sympathetic, uttered a "told you so."

"Wait." I murmured. The roll was not finished until I said it was.

I focused on the ball as it rattled from side to side, unsure of where it belonged, a feeling familiar enough. All my energy went directly to that plastic white dot until I was the ball and the ball was me.

After a beat, it moved directly to the red number one, where it remained motionless.

"You've got to be shitting me!" The croupier cried, gripping his temple with both hands. "That's impossible..."

"Don't waste my time. Pay up." My palm struck out. Begrudgingly, he placed stack upon stack of credits in my hand.

Suddenly, the lights dimmed and the music stopped. The 72,000 credits vanished, replaced by the glass vial.

I remembered that night so clearly, and all the other nights like it. Each time I had won, I attributed my wins to good luck or the cheating, which I thought I masterfully executed. But they weren't by chance or fraud at all.

I focused my energy on the vial as I did with the roulette ball.

 _Float_.

The vial rolled a little, rattling the pills inside.

 _Please_.

The vial began to violently shake, echoing a maraca.

 _FLOAT!_

The vial shot up and crashed against the ceiling, raining fragments of glass and medicine.

The lights flicked back on.

Luck and cheating couldn't explain this.

Tightening the ties on my sweatpants, an apparent welcome gift of Medical Ward 6, I took a final glance around the room for anything that could be of use for my great escape. Gently, I slipped a lengthy glass shard into my pocket. The Force may be on my side, but it was better to be safe than sorry. Taking a final glance at my disheveled figure, I pressed my palm against the door button. With a silent _whoosh_ , I was standing in the hallway of the infirmary.

Left? Right? Straight ahead? All paths looked exactly identical, each without a promising lead. Alternating white and red lights lined the edges where the walls and ceilings connected, illuminating the otherwise pitch-black halls. The longer I stood here, the more time was being wasted.

I moved ahead, leaving behind every inhibition that screamed for me to do otherwise.

At the end of the corridor stood another door similar to mine, complete with the adjacent silver button. I opened it without hesitation, and a distracted stormtrooper on the other side snapped into focus.

"Are you Orrin Fireith?" He asked, the voice slightly altered from the helmet.

"Ah, um, yeah. Just looking for the bathroom." Crap.

"The bathrooms are in the left wing of the infirmary. Go back, and take the first corner." The stormtrooper motioned the directions with his two-handed blaster.

I fidgeted in place, racking my mind for an excuse to leave.

"Yeah, about those. One of the toilets was clogged, and uh, I didn't like it in there. Too dark." Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"I'm sorry, but that will have to do for now. I'm under orders to not let you out past the infirmary for the night." He sounded empathetic. Anyone can relate to toilet troubles.

Obviously, I didn't think this through, but I was not about to give up. I had a planet to get back to and people to mourn. And I'll be damned if I let a stormtrooper get in my way.

A thought prodded my brain. It whispered, _just give it a try_.

This would be an automatic death sentence if it failed, and it was most definitely going to. I straightened my posture, pushed a lock of hair behind my ear, biting my lower lip.

"You will leave me alone and go to your room at once."

What was I, insane?

The stormtrooper confirmed my question.

"And _you_ will not tell me what to do. I'll escort you back to your room now." He gripped my arm and immediately began the return journey back to Medical Ward 6.

 _One more time_.

"You will leave me alone and go to your room at once." I spat through gritted teeth. For a moment, a wave of warmth washed over. Droplets of sweat pooled together along my furrowed brow. My fists were clenching automatically.

Stopping in his tracks, the stormtrooper let go of my arm, giving a quick salute.

"I will leave you alone and go to my room at once."

And he was gone.

In shock, a breathless "woah" escaped my lips. For a Coruscant party girl, this was not how I was expecting my life to go.

I left the infirmary, noticing an electronic clock mounted above the entryway. The time 21:30 flashed in bold, red numbering. Late enough for some to be in bed. Early enough for others to be on the move. Taking advantage of the calm, I took a moment to plan the next route of action.

This was a spacecraft, so there had to be escape pods, right?

I hadn't the slightest idea of how to operate one, but the Force will help me out with that. Maybe. I hadn't the slightest idea of how that operated, either.

Each hall was indistinguishable from the last. With each rounding around corner after corner, occasionally pressing flat against a corridor to shield from incoming officers, I began to lose hope. This ship was gigantic, and I was only on one floor of many. Escape pods could be anywhere. Was it worth the risk?

My parents handing my unconscious body over to The First Order before taking their last breath reenacted in my head.

It absolutely was.

I climbed a staircase to the upper level of the _Supremacy_. As if it was expecting me, a row of five escape pods were lined up along the left wall. Without determining whether or not the hangar was actually clear, I ran to the closest pod, prying at the door.

The unexpected voice boomed in my mind, ripping my hands from the door and sending me across the room in a panic.

 _"I wouldn't do that."_

Crouching in a ball with index fingers shoved into my ears, my head whipped back and forth, trying to figure out where the noise originated.

 _"Can you hear me?"_ Softer, the voice asked. Could this be another feature of the Force? A tiny man programmed into my brain? I shook my head. _Get out_.

 _"Good."_ Was the reply.

Then, footsteps.

Slow, powerful, footsteps that made the floor vibrate with each _thomp_.

Scrambling to my feet, leaving my still-pounding heart on the floor, I pulled the glass shard from my pocket.

I barely moved a foot until my face collided directly with his chest.

Stumbling backwards, my eyes couldn't tear away from the person that stood in front of me. In my moment of weakness, he grabbed my wrist with one hand, pocketing my makeshift weapon with the other. Our breathing was in sync as he freed my hand.

"Orrin Fireith." Bile crept up my throat as the machine-like voice bellowed my name.

"Y-yes. That's me." I looked up at the eye slit in his mask, weakly giving a wry smile.

"You are lost." It wasn't a question.

"No, n-no I'm not lost, uh..."

"Commander." He suggested, agitated.

"Right." I affirmed. "But, no, I'm not lost, Commander." Vomiting would be an excellent option right now. Commander Ren called my bluff.

"Clearly you are. This is the Escape Pod room." An apt title. "And someone who has been the recipient of such hospitality we provided wouldn't be planning on leaving so soon."

I had no response.

"What do you think is out there, girl?" He demanded, resting a gloved hand on the holster to his lightsaber. The same one I held an hour ago in my dream. "Even if you were to survive the lightyear of travel to return home, there is nothing out there for you. Everyone you knew on that smog planet is gone. You have nothing."

A lightyear? How fast were we traveling?

"We've spent the last hour traveling through hyperspace." He answered my question, but unlike Hux, I knew he had heard me.

 _"I know exactly what you are thinking, all the time. You cannot hide from me."_

"Get out of my head!" I screamed, covering my mouth immediately. I'd have absolutely no shot of getting home if I was dead.

"Smart." Commander Ren acknowledged as I stopped myself. "And I'm afraid I cannot do that. But what you can do for me is to return to your quarters."

As if they were waiting for a cue, two stormtroopers flanked my sides.

"Bring her back to Medical Ward 6." The Commander said out loud. _"And do not try the mind trick again if you wish to see tomorrow."_ He said in my head.

One of the troopers pushed the tip of his gun into my side, shoving me forward. Stretching my neck, I took a final glance back and watched the masked figure briskly turn around and march off, his billowing cape disappearing around the corner.


	4. Revelations

Chapter IV: Revelations

Heavy sobs racked my body between shaky breaths as I buried my face in the overly starched pillow. There was no getting off this ship. There were no answers to be found.

If I truly was a, how did Ren put it, a _recipient of such hospitality_ , why wasn't I granted the luxury of choosing to leave? Why was General Hux practically speaking in riddles around me? Why is this entire crew so hell-bent on keeping me here?

Why me?

 _No._

Orrin Fireith would not stoop to levels of self-pity.

Indignation, fury, and upset mixed in the pit of my stomach like a Molotov cocktail ready to be thrown.

Orrin Fireith would not be kept prisoner.

Not too long after we met, Lil dubbed me as "the FireSith," a somewhat poor joke but an accurate description nonetheless. Our friendship was founded utterly by coincidence, as she caught me during a blind rage in the music hall at our school. She was there to practice her mandolin. I was there to destroy, as was typical whenever things didn't go my way. The situation leading up to that episode was blurry, probably about a bad grade or a shitty classmate who got on my nerves. Whatever the cause, it wasn't anything that called for thousands of credits worth of damage.

Which made me feel a little better about showing Medical Ward 6 who exactly it was detaining.

I flung my IV pole across the room, smashing the mirror into splinters, distorting my reflection into cracks. My brick of a pillow tore apart with ease in my vice grip, a backdrop of hovering feathers complimenting the scene. A surgical knife rested in the cabinet above my bed and acted as the perfect tool to stab through the counter, the mattress, the wall...

It was only after I collapsed onto my now mutilated mattress that I realized I was screaming throughout the ordeal. My throat burned nearly as hot as the tears that streamed down my cheeks. Pulling my knees to my chest, I rested my head.

Rocked back and forth.

Explored option after option of how to get back.

I wondered if the sun was about to rise over Coruscant.

* * *

I hadn't slept for a second when a knock rapped against the door. It was light and fast, imitating the anxiety emitting from its source.

"Yes." I answered meekly, face still buried between my bruised kneecaps.

General Hux rushed through the door.

"Good morning, Or – " he tripped over his words upon taking in the scene before him. I lifted my head, eyelashes matted together, to witness his reaction to the mess.

Hux didn't seem angry; rather, his eyes rolled in a full circle as he exhaled. Indifferent, exhausted. Evidently, he had prior experience with tantrums. I pondered from who.

"Sorry." I sighed, shrugging slightly.

"That's...that's alright, Orrin. That's what the sanitation crew is here for. You're not the only one who..." Hux trailed off, pursed his lips, and a quiet laugh shook his body. "News of your excursion has made quite a stir on the _Supremacy_. I can imagine the questions you have. It's natural. I hope today you will find the answers you seek."

He was starting to grow on me.

"We have an important meeting to get to at nine hundred hours. It's currently half past eight. Please get yourself ready and meet me outside the infirmary lobby." Nodding, Hux left.

Get myself ready? With what things?

As my feet touched the cold tile floor, a shooting pain surged up my right leg. Dried blood had stained through the cast and cracked down my leg. Maybe I overdid it last night.

Scavenging through the bureau, I acquired a grey tunic and brushes for my hair and teeth. Pulling off the misshapen hospital smock, my eyes widened at the rest of my torso. Impossibly, even more cuts scattered around my chest and sides; bruises gathered around some ribs and my hips. God, these things were endless. At least I was still wearing a familiar bra. A memento of home.

The tunic fit a bit better, outlining my shape so I looked less like an incarcerated blob and more like a woman. My burning leg discouraged any attempts to take off the sweatpants. They should feel fortunate that I'm making an attempt at all. Hobbling over towards the door console, I grabbed a crutch resting in the corner. The padded armrest was uncomfortable as it sat right between my bony arm and bruised rib cage. Lifting my injured leg up slightly, I stumbled to the bathroom.

The tiles were the same unwelcoming obsidian as the rest of the _Supremacy_ , the only sources of light emitting from the illuminated edges of the mirrors. I brushed my hair, letting my brown locks hang dully above my shoulders. Crusts of old blood fell into the sink with each swoop of the brush. My face was clean, aside from the faint lines of various cuts and my freckles that were sprinkled amongst them. The gash was as prominent as ever. Probably going to need stitches. I shuddered at the thought.

This was as good as it was going to get.

I met with General Hux at the designated place, the same spot where I had tricked that stormtrooper to leave me alone. Confusion washed over his face as the General eyed my stance up and down.

"I see you've made yourself at home." He stated, ringing his hands. "Well, nevermind your appearance. That will mean little to Supreme Leader Snoke. Come along now, follow me."

Hux ignored the questions that streamed out of my dropped jaw.

"Wait, _what?_ _Who_ are we meeting?!" I called, limping a few footsteps behind the redheaded man.

"You'll see momentarily. The Supreme Leader is...impressed...with the abilities you displayed last night." Hux answered, waving a hand without turning around.

We marched through a maze of halls, taking several elevators until we seemed to reach the height of the ship. High-ranking Admirals and Officers greeted Hux and smiled at me, as if they had been waiting for my arrival. Along the way, droves of stormtroopers had stopped in their tracks, not only to salute General Hux, but also to watch me pass, not so subtly whispering to one another. One of them had pointed in my direction while nudging a trooper next to him.

"That's the one who got Hugo killed last night."

Although I couldn't see through their masks, I knew they were all staring at me. If I had known my actions would've gotten someone _killed_...

Hux stopped at a massive metal door that shone bright silver, a contrast from the black walls.

"And here we are. The Supreme Leader is eager to make your acquaintance, but do not speak to him unless he addresses you first." Hux drew his eyes to the floor as he finished talking, like he knew this from experience. With swift flicks of his fingers, he entered a passcode by the door. The huge metal shield split in half and slid into their respective shafts.

Hux ushered me in before him, and together we stood, basked in glowing red light, in the chambers of Supreme Leader Snoke, Commander Kylo Ren already in his company.

Like Kylo Ren, legends of Snoke were rumored throughout Coruscant, although they were never consistent. Rhyen said that his father, an assistant to the Coruscant Provisional Government, had seen holographs of Snoke, and that he was small in stature, wrinkled, frail. The radio shows my parents listened to described Snoke as menacing, enormous, but youthful.

I can tell everyone back home with certainty that they were all wrong.

Leaning back in a throne sized only for someone of his frame, Snoke's massive figure commanded the room. Beady blue eyes protruded from his otherwise calloused and wrinkled face. Draped in a gilded robe, his hands curled and released around the edges of his throne's armrests. His presence was centered in the colossal room.

Decorated solely by floor to ceiling panels of red, Snoke's chamber was more or less barren. Armed guards in matte red armor flanked the leader's sides, each carrying a weapon that looked more terrifying than the one before it.

Kylo Ren turned to watch as Hux and I made our way towards the end of the room. Hux placed a hand on Ren's shoulder, which he immediately shook off. The air was still and awkward. Ren looked in my direction, but his mask kept his true focus a mystery.

"Is this the girl?" A deep and raspy croak radiated from the Supreme Leader.

"Yes, Supreme Leader. We picked her up two nights ago on Coruscant." Hux responded, bowing.

Snoke grumbled in affirmation. His head slowly cranked from Hux to me.

"Step forward, child."

A lump sat heavily in my throat and my feet felt like they were cemented to the ground. Hux gently pushed me forward.

"And what is your name?" Snoke extended his veiny neck forward. I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't take to being examined like a specimen.

"Orrin." I said to the floor.

"Do you understand why you are here, Orrin, aboard the _Supremacy?_ Only the highest elites have seen this craft, let alone board her." Snoke lifted a hand and gestured across the room in satisfaction. A crooked smile spread across his face, disfigured by the scarring on his cheeks.

I yawned and rubbed my eyes with closed fists. Sleep deprived, hurting, and feeling the remainder of adrenaline pumping through my body, I answered his question without hesitation.

"No, actually, I don't know why. No one here has taken the liberty of explaining anything to me." At this rate, I just wanted answers, regardless of the consequence.

 _"Watch it."_

I flinched as Kylo Ren's metallic command rattled in my skull. Throwing a glance in his direction, my eyes locked with his mask. This time, I knew he was staring right through me.

"Commander Ren, do not speak to our guest with such haste. She's here to help us, after all." Snoke read both our minds as simply as if Kylo had spoke out loud. Hux coughed into his elbow, visibly bothered by the secret conversation. Snoke ignored Hux, and returned his attention back to me.

"You are here for a reason, Orrin Fireith." Snoke continued. I raised a brow, noticing I didn't tell him my last name. "You have been rescued by The First Order from certain death to achieve a future greater than you could ever have imagined. You are here to fulfill your destiny." He crossed his legs, content with his soliloquy.

"Why can't I go home? I didn't _offer_ my help." Snoke's proposal of galactic fame did nothing in terms of tempting me. Although he remained silent, I felt Kylo Ren's presence in my head, searching. _Get out,_ I snarled _._

Snoke laughed, apparently pleased with my dissent. Was this a game to him?

"You sure know how to choose them, don't you Commander?" The monstrous figure addressed the masked man.

"She is the only one who possesses the Force with the strength we require, Supreme Leader." The mechanized voice responded as the Commander kneeled.

"And strong she is. I am well aware of your little... _escapade,_ young Fireith. You hold such mastery of the Force for someone without any training. You would bring great restitution to your family, and balance to the galaxy, if you trained with The First Order. That is, if you accept our offer. I think you will." Turning back to the Commander, Snoke motioned for him to continue.

"Have you yet to recall the night the Resistance invaded your home?" Kylo Ren rose from his position to face me, his back turned to Snoke. I lifted my chin to look him in what would've been the eye.

"No, I haven't." I inhaled sharply, trying my best to not appear as intimidated as I felt.

"Well, it is agreed upon that now is an appropriate time. I believe you will realize the good The First Order intends to bring to prevent tragedies like these from reoccurring." He turned to Snoke for approval, like a child towards his father.

Snoke nodded in response.

"Show her the truth."


	5. Recollection

_A/N: And with that, we're on to book II! I'm a senior in college and the semester is starting to pick up, and unfortunately I don't have too much prewritten. I'm hoping to stick to the thursday update schedule, but we'll see! Thanks everyone for your support with this fic! xx_

 _-Ruth_

* * *

Chapter V: Recollection

The roar was deafening.

Blaster fire, screaming, and the thundering of an engine reverberated throughout the Coruscant city streets.

Running.

We were running so quickly we didn't have time to think of where we were headed.

Glancing down for a second, I saw one foot trade places in front with the other. Again, I was disconnected to my body, merely watching the scene through my eyes; I wasn't there, and yet, I was entirely there.

Lilea was by my side, her blonde locks whipping back and forth trying to find a way out. Offices, department stores, government buildings melted together in a concrete ocean, their neon signs shut off to deter attention being drawn to them. This was not the Coruscant I knew; something terrible has shut the city down.

Suddenly, Lil gripped my hand and yanked me down a passing alley. Backs pressed against the grey brick, we watched in horror as fleets of Resistance fighters stampeded past us. Their war cries blended into one another, although some phrases struck out repeatedly.

 _"She's ours! It's over, Ren!"_

 _"THIS IS FOR HAN!"_

And scattered throughout, a prayer: _"I am one with the Force and the Force is with me."_

Silence set in as their shouts grew in distance.

"Let's go." Lil whispered as she stuck her head out around the corner. My limbs had frozen, as if a shot of ice was injected through my veins. An unfamiliar feeling, as I was typically the fearless one dragging inhibited Lilea along.

But this was different.

Somehow, I knew my life was on the line; that this battle was over me.

Noticing I wasn't coming with her, Lil turned and grabbed my shoulders. Hazel met with darkness as her eyes locked with mine.

"We're only a block away from your home. It's going to be okay." Her pained expression hinted that she had her own apprehensions about the raging battle, too. Giving me a small peck on the forehead, Lil sprinted around the corner, and I followed her lead.

The doorway to my apartment's entrance swung open as we approached the building, the open arms of my mother waiting for us eagerly. Upset and worry stained her aged face.

"Oh my god, oh my – hurry!" She shouted through broken syllables.

Lil was the first to reach the safety of the foyer. As I raised a foot to step inside, I felt foreign hands yank my body back. My mother let out a piercing scream, flying out the door after me. Lil screeched my name, horror rapidly taking over all emotion.

Shock delayed my response as a Resistance fighter lifted me off the ground in a chokehold, pressing something cold and metallic behind my ear.

 _"I GOT HER!"_ My captor bellowed, inching up on his grip.

"Wha- " My eyes widened as I processed what was happening.

"No! W-who are you looking for? I'll...I'll h-help you find her! This isn't the person you're l-looking for, this is my daughter, I – " My mother pleaded, latching onto the fighter's leather jacket, tears brewing in the corners of her eyes.

The metallic object left the side of my head and rang loudly in my ear as it fired a bullet.

My knees gave out as I was forced to witness the sight before me. I opened my mouth, but only wails emerged. I kicked back to hit the fighter where it would hurt. He stumbled back, but tightened his hold further. The crushing of my windpipes silenced my sobs.

My father rushed out to the sight of his family being destroyed without a thing he could do about it.

"Please..." He stepped forward, despite Lilea's implorations not to. Choked back tears strained his throat. "She's my only child. She's all I have left..."

"You'll stay back now." The Resistance fighter commanded, aiming the blaster between his eyes. "Or both of you will be gone." The gun motioned to Lil before moving back to my head. Leaning in to his bandaged shoulder, the fighter spoke into a small radio.

"General Organa, this is Finn. I have the girl we're looking for."

The remaining four of us stood in a standoff, the tension growing with each breath we took.

A humanoid shadow cast over us, causing my father's eyes to widen and Lil to run inside the apartment. Heavy footsteps and robotic breathing broke the silence.

"FN-2187, the traitor who lives." The unmistakable masked voice of Kylo Ren tore through the tautness like scissors through paper.

The distinctive _swoosh_ of his lightsaber activating caused Finn to twist around to face his enemy, my body a human shield. Shuffling his shoulder, Finn called for backup.

"You have something that belongs to me." The Commander pointed his lightsaber at my chest. Every part of me was shaking in indescribable fear in the presence of the infamous First Order Commander, but adrenaline and grief fueled my resolve.

" _NO!_ " I screamed through tears that poured uncontrollably down my cheeks and onto Finn's arm. "I'm not who you're looking for! You're causing death and destruction over a _mistake_. And _you_..." Stretching my neck, I looked up at Finn. " _You_..." I shut my eyes tight, trying to force the image of my mother out of my head.

Both FN-2187 and Commander Kylo Ren disregarded my cries.

"The Resistance will never be worthy of someone as strong as her. Make the right decision, and I may grant you a painless death."

As his words fell upon our ears, a troop of Resistance fighters dropped from the air, detaching themselves from harnesses. The vibrations of an overhead B/SF-17 resounded through my bones.

Behind Kylo, an army of stormtroopers rounded the corner, blasters at the ready.

The all too familiar tinnitus set in as the cracking of blasters set off from both sides. Finn ducked, shooting at some stormtroopers with one hand while still locking me with the other. A jolt rocked my body as Finn stumbled backwards over mislaid debris. Loosening his grasp, I squirmed my way under his arm, elbowing him in the ribs for good measure.

"Don't you think it'll be that easy." The Resistance fighter shouted, angry and flustered.

A blaster bullet ripped through my leg before I had time to turn around.

I fell, face-first. Pebbles embedded themselves around my eye.

Lilea and my father sprinted out of hiding and grabbed my forearms to lift me up, but more blaster bullets stopped them in their tracks.

With three thoughtless, hasty blasts, everything I had loved in this life was gone.

Commander Kylo Ren's troops descended upon Finn and the other Rebels.

The masked man himself, approaching me. Extended an outstretched hand.

"It's time to go." The words mechanically emitted from his concealment.

The innate fear screaming at me to resist his order faded. Without my parents, without Lilea, there was nothing else left for me on this planet. The Resistance was supposed to represent justice, compassion, the light.

They took all of that away from me tonight.

And here was Commander Kylo Ren, of First Order renown, risking himself to save me from the same fate.

Mindlessly, I felt my fingers slip into his large gloved hand. A handful of stormtroopers came to my aid in helping me regain my footing. A new chapter was unfolding in front of my eyes, and I couldn't do anything to stop the progression.

I didn't want to stop it.

That was when the Resistance enacted their final insult unto injury.

The painful echo of the B/SF-17 reemerged, this time accompanied by hollers and hoots of celebration. The Resistance was reveling in a victory.

Immediately, explosions leveled the city streets. Magna bombs rained down upon us like a ceaseless shower of black. The stormtroopers by my sides were thrown into walls. Unable to hold myself up, my face once again met with the ground. I watched in silent horror as the conflagration consumed the soldiers.

Noticing his missing counterparts, Kylo Ren turned on his heels to witness his army being destroyed. I waved a bleeding arm to catch his eye and helplessly watched as he motioned for more of his troopers to rescue me.

The final bomb detonated before they could reach my limp body, and I was launched into a fiery wall of darkness.

* * *

I was on my hands and knees when the wind knocked back into my system. My head lifted up automatically as I gasped for air.

The Commander retracted his outstretched hand, and I climbed to my feet, brushing off dust. He retreated to his original spot by General Hux, who gave me a sympathetic tilt of his head.

The Supreme Leader gave no time for reflection.

"I imagine you now fully understand our proposition, young Orrin." He paused before continuing, interlocking his long digits, expectant for me to agree with enthusiasm and pleasure.

My umber eyes locked with his piercingly blue ones. Of course, I was swayed, but the deaths of my family and best friend was still burning in my mind, behind my eyelids with every blink.

"I do," was all I had to say in response. I rang my hands behind my back.

Snoke leaned back in his throne, satisfied with the new development.

"That battle was for you, Orrin, as I am positive you surmised. You possess such a raw, natural strength with the Force. It is a gift, a talent, a curse, whatever you wish to call it, but it is one that we will help you reign in and weaponize to its fullest potential. General Hux, would you be so kind to explain to our apprentice her role in our mission?" Keeping his eyes targeted on mine, Snoke addressed the general. The word _apprentice_ rang through my ears. It made me feel wanted, confident, that there was still a home even after the destruction of my own. It also sent a tiny surge of fear and queasiness down my spine.

Clearing his throat with an audible grunt, Hux eagerly faced me, wiping a bead of sweat from his golden brow. He spoke as if he was reciting a speech he memorized for the occasion.

"For The First Order to complete its goal of procuring the stability and progression of civilization, we must destroy all remnants of the Jedi Order. The Sith and Empire nearly completed this task, aside from one factor. Former Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, who we believe to be the last Jedi, remains in seclusion as he has for the last fifteen years."

Kylo Ren quietly muttered a few words to himself, mostly profanities from what I could decipher. General Hux had paused, eyes rolling in a full rotation before continuing.

"The First Order has been tracking the location of Skywalker for a little over a year without success. We've attempted to obtain his lightsaber, as well as the missing piece of the galactic map that would lead us directly to his whereabouts; however, our missions all ended in nothing but destruction, death, and empty hands."

 _"Our missions didn't end as badly as he says. He relishes in my failure."_ Kylo Ren snapped in my head. Sibling rivalry.

"Are you sure about that?" Snoke said out loud, startling Hux, who thought the Supreme Leader was addressing him. "That scavenger girl practically left you for dead. Pathetic." The towering humanoid spat.

The general sighed and scratched his head, awkward and annoyed.

"Anyways...it was agreed upon by the Supreme Leader, Commander Ren, and myself to bring you on board the _Supremacy_ to master your connection with the Force. With your assistance, we will find Skywalker and eliminate the remainders of the Jedi Order, and in turn, The Resistance. Your name will be held in high regard throughout the galaxy for millennia to come."

"Thank you, General. Your response, young Fireith?" Snoke motioned for me to speak.

General Hux stuck out a gloved hand in my direction.

My parents. Lilea. My home.

The Resistance needed to be stopped.

I grabbed and shook his hand without hesitation.

"I'm in."


	6. Allies

**Book II: Resurrection**

Chapter VI

A week has passed since I agreed to train with The First Order, and I've never felt more alive.

For once, my life had structure, balance, and an actual purpose, all things I lacked until now. Although I had two supportive parents, I more or less took them for granted, graduating from school and leaving home without more than a whisper. As a promise to Rhyen, I took his father up on his offer of an assistant position for the Provisional Government, but didn't last long. Clerical work wasn't my style, and gambling fell at a higher place on the priority list. Junk dealing was more my pace anyway, as it was with the other gamblers and borderline alcohol addicts. Besides, I got to play world traveler, traversing around Coruscant, and learned some basics of self-defense. Someone had to protect the broken droids for sale.

And even though I had parents, Lil, and Rhyen, I ached from loneliness each night on the road.

But now, here, with this _empire_ , I had a place. People who barely even knew me beyond my name looked at me with respect. I was collaborating with a team who saw my worth, and together worked towards a cause that would result in something bigger than myself.

For the first time in my life, I felt like someone.

"Hey, Orrin!" A rough hand came down hard on my shoulder as Rowan sheepishly smiled at me. "The Commander's speech, huh? That was something."

The TIE pilot-in-training and I met only a couple of days ago, corralled together for yet another Hux-led _Supremacy_ orientation _,_ but it was safe to say that Rowan Crix was a keeper.

"Jeez, Crix, you're gonna give me a heart attack if you keep sneaking up like that!" I shoved his hand away, laughing. A feeling I was relieved to be able to experience again. "But, yeah, he has a way with words, doesn't he? A certain ability to make us take him seriously, even while he's wearing that _ridiculous_ mask." I rolled my eyes at the image of the Commander hiding behind his tacky masquerade.

No one I had met thus far has seen the Commander without his mask, although theories ran rampantly aboard the _Supremacy_. The night before, I overheard a group stormtroopers at dinner agree upon him as being elderly and scarred, confined to a voice modulator in order to be understood. Rowan's confident that the Commander's mask isn't a necessary device, rather a mark of his "Vader fetish," as he puts it.

"Hey, hey! Your words, not mine." Rowan jeered, decidedly tagging along with me for lunch. "I'm just hoping he actually delivers on the whole 'finishing what Vader started' deal. It'd be nice to see some actual progress for once."

Our noses scrunched up upon entering the mess hall, surveying today's menu. "Fuck, it's that blue mush again. They should at least give us something edible after having to spend all morning at a mandatory _motivational rally_." The pilot frowned as he air quoted the last phrase.

After filling our plates with the food that was one molecule short of plastic, Rowan and I took a seat at a table in the middle of the cafeteria.

"You know –" Rowan began, mouth already overflowing with mush, " _you_ should at least get the good meals. You're basically one of them anyway. Didn't the Commander like, hand pick you or some shit?" He pointed his fork at me as he spoke, pushing strands of sandy brown hair out of his eye.

An ache rumbled in my stomach at the memory. "Ah, is that what people are saying? It seemed more by chance than anything." I shoved a forkful of food in my mouth to signal that I didn't want to talk about it. Naturally, Rowan ignored it, calling out my lie.

"Don't play dumb with me, Fireith. There's some chitchat about you, ya know. Some good ol' fashioned gossip." He said with a smirk. "People are saying they're gonna train you to be the next Ren. I mean, hell, you already got your first kill! Cheap shot though, if you ask me. Hugo seemed like an easy target, so don't get too full of yourself yet." Taking a swig from his water, Rowan raised the cup towards me and winked. I clinked my glass with his and did the same.

"No promises. And for the record, _I_ didn't kill Hugo."

"Well, you sure sent him on his way out." Rowan raised his brow, set his cup down, and gestured behind me with a quick lift of his chin. "Looks like the rumors might be true, huh?"

And with that, a stormtrooper was standing by our table, greeting both of us with a quick salute.

"Officer Fireith. Your presence is requested in the central hangar."

I ignored Rowan's snarky " _hmph_ " as I answered the trooper.

"Now? I just sat down for lunch – is it urgent?" My stomach let out a quiet growl in contempt.

"General Hux sent me to collect you for a meeting, which is starting shortly." A noticeable amount of unease crept into the stormtrooper's voice. Wincing, I wondered if she was worried about meeting the same fate as Hugo if I didn't yield to his request.

"Alright, alright, I'm – ugh – up." I conceded, grunting as I stood from my seat. My leg was healed for the most part, but putting my full weight still caused some discomfort. "Can I at least bring this?" I bargained, pointing to the plate of the inedible stuff in my hand.

The stormtrooper shrugged, and walked off without a word. Promising to catch up with him later, I left Rowan to follow the trooper's lead.

"Remember me when you're a Darth!" Echoed throughout the cafeteria.

* * *

"And you think this will last, correct?" General Hux's voice was audible from the hallway leading to the hangar.

"Are you doubting my judgment?" Commander Ren's growl sliced through the air as the stormtrooper and I waited silently in the doorway to be acknowledged.

"No." Hux replied, staring directly into the reflective mask. A subtle red glow cast over them from the holographic map centered in the room.

I pretended to cough in my clenched fist, drawing both the General and Commander's attention.

"You...wanted to see me, General? I brought an offering." I teased, holding my now cold plate of regurgitated mush towards the man. Keeping my eyes locked on his, I didn't dare look in the Commander's direction. Aside from our uncomfortable encounter my first night aboard, and the following day when he helped regain my memory, I hadn't spoken to the Commander. Our telepathic channel remained silent. Part of me hoped it would remain that way.

Stifling a laugh, the General took the plate from my hand. "Actually, there is some food waiting in the conference room. But your offering has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated." He grinned softly, handing my plate to a Sanitation crewmember. "And EC-0224, you are dismissed."

I liked this guy. He could take a joke.

Following Hux to the conference room, the smell of freshly cooked meats and vegetables wafted through the air and up my nose. My stomach rumbled in anticipation; it's been months, maybe a year, since I ate something that wasn't processed in a can or found in the trash. There were several pitchers of water, and an elaborately cut glass held an unknown brown liquid at the head of the table.

"Please, Orrin, have a seat." Hux gestured to an empty chair seated next to the head. "We're just waiting for the arrival of Captain Phasma before we begin." The General pulled a chair on the opposite side and sat down, interlocking his fingers.

Without a word, Kylo Ren took a seat at the head of the table, pouring out a small glass of the liquid. The familiar, comforting scent of whiskey mingled with the food. I exhaled out my nostrils sharply; I never pegged the Commander as a drinker.

Only the clanging of silverware as Hux and I filled our plates with the food broke the penetrating silence. The unspoken hostility between Hux and Ren was nearly tangible when a chrome-plated stormtrooper marched in the room, black cape following every move.

"Commander. General." A feminine voice, made mechanical by her helmet, greeted the two men at the table as Captain Phasma sat next to me. "And Orrin Fireith, finally. I'm Captain Phasma, the commander of the First Order stormtrooper fleet." The woman stuck a gloved hand in my direction.

Hesitantly, I placed my hand in hers. Of course, I had known who the Captain was, as her name was held in as high regard, and in as high anxiety, as the Commander and Supreme Leader themselves. Her vice grip took me by surprise; when she let go, red marks from her fingers lined my palm.

"Did I do something wrong?" I blurted out immediately. Meeting with the General was one thing, but to be cornered by three of the First Order top officials? All we needed was the Supreme Leader to be here, and I would've probably vomited from nerves. "I know there was that thing with...Hugo, but I was scared – I didn't know the full story with the Resistance and all..."

"Not at all, Orrin. In fact, your...confrontation with Hugo was extraordinarily impressive. Few sensitive to the Force can successfully pull off a mind trick, nevermind on their first try." Hux cut in, reassuring. "His death was more of an...impulsive decision after the matter." He side-eyed the Commander, who let out an unamused grunt in return.

"We are here to discuss your training schedule from here on out." Phasma broke through the tension, staring down the two men across from us. "Obviously, you are already skilled with the Force. We need you to hone in your power and learn how to utilize it efficiently and effortlessly. In addition, I believe you have what it takes to be a resourceful fighter as well. You have the bone structure, the experience, the _motive_. I'm aware you were a junk dealer for some time. You're a valuable asset." As she finished speaking, Phasma placed her hands over her helmet. With a few clicks, her head was freed from the metal casing. Short, platinum blonde locks fell along the side of her cheek.

"What do you think, Hux?" She asked, placing the helmet to her side on the table. Excitedly, she began piling the food on the plate set in front of her. "I'm starving."

Hux nodded in agreement. "The Captain put it perfectly. Essentially, you're the missing piece to The First Order puzzle. Starting tomorrow, you will be following a daily regiment of training, physical and mental. Captain Phasma will be leading your physical training, along with myself. You'll be with the other assassins, stormtroopers, and pilots learning basic combat and defense. Your mental training will be one-on-one, directed by Commander Ren." The General took a moment to motion towards the Commander, in the event he wanted to add his two cents.

Which he didn't, naturally.

The Commander remained silent, swirling the liquor around in its tiny glass.

 _"How're you gonna drink that with the mask?"_ I thought loudly. Just to see if our telepathy was a two way street.

" _Quiet_." His baritone voice echoed within my skull.

Hux, noticing my glare towards the Commander, grumbled under his breath before continuing. "We believe the combined powers between you and the Commander will undoubtedly lead us to Skywalker. At any rate, are you finished eating, Orrin? I believe your next stop today is your uniform fitting. Captain?"

Captain Phasma secured her helmet back on. "Affirmative. I'm ready when you are, Officer Fireith."


	7. Preparations

_A/N: Hi everyone! I apologize in advance for the super short (and honestly not very well written) chapter. I've been battling a nasty cold and some pretty bad anxiety throughout the week, and I wasn't able to put as much time as I wanted to in this chapter. Because of that, I'm going to change the update schedule to_ every other Thursday. _This gives me more time to write content I'm proud of without the stress of a weekly deadline. Thank you all for understanding and for your support with_ Rust and Stardust _!_

* * *

Chapter VII: Preparations

"You gotta square _the fuck_ up, Fireith!" Rowan pounded his chest, imitating a wookiee's war cry. We were in the midst of hand-to-hand combat training, and he had knocked me flat on my ass.

" _Officer Crix!_ We will refrain from such language and behavior in my gymnasium." General Hux ordered through grit teeth, observing us from his elevated balcony. "And Officer Fireith, be mindful of your position. You're standing as if you have two left feet, it's killing me to watch." He criticized, rubbing his temples.

Brushing strands of flyaway hairs out of my face, I regained my footing. My raised and bandaged fists were eye level. Blisters lining the back of my ankles screamed for their release from the ill-fitting boots. _You only need a couple of more days to break into them entirely,_ I tried to reassure myself. _Kick his ass._

"What, are you _waiting_ for me to –" the pilot's taunt was cut short as my fist met with his jaw, sending him stumbling back on his feet. In seconds, I drew the mock blaster that all trainees were administered from my holster. My boot stomped down on Rowan's shoulder and I aimed the gun between his eyes.

"Square up, flyboy." I smirked, raising both brows. Grinning, Rowan shook his head.

"Incredible, I am both absolutely terrified _and_ aroused. If you pull that on the Resistance, they'll be crawlin' to join us in no time."

"Shut up." Laughing, I kicked his side. The pilot propped himself on his forearms, brushing off dust.

Hux's clapping ended our banter.

" _There it is!_ That's the fighter I knew was in you. Did everyone see that?" The General addressed the other dozen or so stormtroopers, pilots, and assassins in training. "That's the level of swiftness you need if you want to stand a chance in battle. Fireith. Crix. Again, please."

* * *

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say Hux is actively _trying_ to kill us. He made us do that routine what – twenty times?" Rowan was wiping sweat from his brow, doubled over with a hand resting on his knee. Training had ended for the day, and eager chatter about lunchtime filled the air.

"Seventeen." I corrected, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. While I had no complaints about the looks of my newly-assigned steel toed boots, my whole body ached from their constricting leather that made its way to my knees. "I guess that's what we get for being the best, huh?"

"I guess that's what I get for being the only one not afraid to talk to you." Rowan said with an uncomfortable laugh as he stretched his arms behind his back.

"Maybe so." I mumbled. He was right – granted, it had only been around a month since formal training began, but hardly any of the other trainees have approached me other than to give an impersonal "hello," which was more out of formality than anything else.

"Alright, bad joke." The pilot admitted, following me out of the gymnasium towards the mess hall. "They're just...intimidated."

"They could easily come up and talk to me like you did."

"Not everyone is as suave with the ladies like First Order Pilot Rowan Crix." He replied, nudging my shoulder. "Sometimes you have to make the first move. Now let's get outta here before my super awesome muscles wither away from starvation, huh?"

* * *

As always, the food was inedible. I moved around my mixture of peas and whatever that unknown orange substance was on my tray in circles, barely tuning in whatever Rowan was saying.

"What about you?" Before I could realize, his face was an inch away from mine. A trickle of the putrid looking mush dripped from the corner of his mouth.

"What?" I asked, annoyance lacing my tone. Training had worn me out, and Rowan's earlier comment was still ingrained in my head. Not to mention, I had silently remembered on the way here that today was the first day of mental training with the Commander. I kept that piece to myself, knowing Rowan would explode with questions knowing I was meeting with our leader one-on-one.

"What made you want to join The First Order? I know Ren sought you out, but, you wouldn't have agreed to join if _something_ about the Order wasn't appealing."

"I...uh..." My voice trailed off as the images of my family burned in the back of my mind. This was probably the only topic that I didn't want to discuss with Rowan. Or anyone. Talking about their deaths made it real, and I would be unable to detach myself from it, as I preferred to do.

"Your family must be proud, huh? Mr. and Mrs. Fireith have a framed photo of you on their mantle?" Could this guy read my mind?

My fork fell from my hand and my eyes met with the floor. Tears threatened to fall over the sides. A hot burst of anger flamed up in my core. Who the hell did Rowan think he was to just _assume_ I had a family? To _assume_ I'm like _him_?

Without hesitation, the tray flew off the table and into the wall. The crashing of the silverware and glass was the most relaxing music I've ever heard.

Quiet hushed over the diners, and one hundred heads turned to look at the spectacle I made. Rowan stared at me blankly, jaw slung open. I guessed it was his first time seeing the Force in action. Coming to, he closed his mouth and wiped his chin with a napkin. Sanitizers dispersed to clean the mess. The underlying murmur of chatter resumed as if nothing had happened at all.

We looked at each other for a minute in silence.

"I...understand." The pilot said, breaking the awkwardness. His usual easygoing demeanor disappeared. "My brother was shot and killed in the line of duty by a Resistance fighter when I was fifteen. From that moment on, I just knew. This is what I had to do for my family and myself."

The irritation and grief coursing through my veins slowed their pace. This was the first time either of us had been vulnerable in front of the other, and no other place for that to happen than the cafeteria.

"So, uh, anyways...with your self defense skills - how'd you get that scar?" Rowan attempted, and failed, to change the subject to something else. "I've been wanting to ask you since we met. A souvenir from junk dealing?"

I couldn't help but laugh this time. After all, he was trying. I did just launch a tray full of food and sharp knives at the wall in front of him.

"I got it as a final _fuck you_ from the Resistance." I snarled with a smirk and raised brow.

Rowan sat back in his seat, pushing his tray away from him. "Oh, shit. They really were out for you, weren't they?"

"You could say that. Junk dealer extraordinaire one day, galactic bounty prize the next. I lead a wild life."

"I just hope I can keep up." I heard the pilot whisper as I stood up. It was nearing half past thirteen o'clock, the time Hux instructed me to meet with him to go to meet with the Commander.

My legs seemed a bit shakier than expected.

"Hey, Crix. I gotta go, okay? And yes," I interrupted him as he was about to respond, "it is official Darth business. Catch you later."

Overcome by nerves, I left Rowan for the second time that month by himself with another word.


End file.
